A theory I've been contemplating for the better part of 6 months, and recently tested with my friend Alex, is splash mountain is super gay. Here's my take on the narrative:
This is Splash Mountain. It follow's Brer Rabbit and his path towards becoming a raging homosexual.
Brer Rabbit lives in the deep south where there aren't many gay animals; naturally he is scared about coming out. Luckily for him, Brer Fox and Brer Bear are out, loud and proud. They offer to take Brer Rabbit to Gayville Mississippi.
How do we get there you ask? Slippin Falls.... (yes that is what the sign says..kinda gay if you ask me)
When we arrive, we are only met by male birds. Yes everyone at Slippin Falls is a boy....
Looks like Brokeback fishing to me...
This one has a cute outfit.
This is Brer Fox and Brer Bear's favorite activity at Slippin Falls. (Fox is off to the side holding the rope)
Bondage much? He clearly wants something in his butt.
The ride continues and we see more and more of these males birds and there monotonous day time activities. Shit gets real once night time hits and Brer Rabbit goes to a gay club called "Rainbow Ponds." This sign actually exists. Here's what he finds...
The formerly monotonous male birds are now dressed in pink top hats, vests and boas...drag queens anyone?
AND they sit on rainbow mushrooms like this:
Oh, you can't forget about their use of spirit fingers either:
This is all happening in a room of rainbow colored lights. There also happens to be some old dog who I'm pretty sure is selling E.
After his adventurous, Brer Rabbit isn't sure what to do. He tries to fight his homosexual feelings but everywhere he looks he sees giant multicolored "mushrooms" (lets be real, they are penises). He is horrified to tell his mom but Brer Fox really pushes for him to do so (with a little bondage).
Despite thinking she is going to kill him, he finally takes the plunge and tells her....she is happy. Everyone has a zipadeedoodah day.
There's also Brer Fox doing god knows what to Brer Bear while an alligator watches....I'm going to go out on a limb here and say he still wants something in his butt.
These pictures aren't the greatest, but trust me, next time you ride Splash Mountain you'll see a whole new world.
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