The Greatest Day of My Life

This is not an exaggeration. There are very few people who can claim they have had one single day in their lifetime they consider “the greatest day”. If you do, I’m sure its one big cliché. I’m sorry people—your wedding, your first child, your college graduation—not your greatest day.  People say these examples because it’s considered the "appropriate" response. People expect it. I on the other hand have no problem facing the wrath of society. I have, and always will claim, the best day of my life is (drum roll please!) the day I finally got an Xbox 360. I have no shame in admitting this. 

Middle school is a rough time for everyone. Puberty alone is enough to cast you to the outer tables of the cafeteria, however for my younger brother and I, the lack of owning a video game console sealed our fate. For some unknown reason, my mother came to the conclusion video games where bad. I mean who wouldn’t want their child to sit in front of a TV for hours, murdering aliens in utter silence?  (My mother did not figure out video games are the best and most reliable babysitter a parent will ever need until my sister was born.) Regardless, I was only able to play video games at my friend’s houses. I missed out on countless hours of Golden Eye, Mario Kart and Halo. As a result, I sucked balls (figuratively. I literally didn't start sucking balls for a few more years). 

To me, practicing tennis was equally as important as practicing a first person shooter. Lets be honest, I needed all the practice I could get. Middle School was not a great time for me. I was fat, walked around wearing Aeropostale while sporting braces and highlights in my hair. I was not winning by anyones definition. 

Halo was very popular amongst my friend group. And by very popular I mean it was a religious cult. Everyone lived and breathed Halo. Even the girls were forced to watch the boys play for hours in hopes of winning a minuscule amount of affection between battles. Halo parties (yes that's what we called them) were modern day Harems with the winners getting all the "it" girls while the losers were battling for leftovers. It was a dog eat dog world. How was I going to get someone to play with my battle rifle if couldn't win a game of Halo? Constantly the butt of everyones joke, I was determined to be seen as someone with murderous intent (something I did not fully achieve till College, but not from video games. More on this later). But how could I when my mother refused to purchase any gaming system?

 

At a young age, I quickly realized I was the "Golden Child" of the family. For starters, I was the first child born of my generation. All my cousins and siblings came years after me (to my disliking). During my "Golden Age", everyone from aunts and uncles to distant relatives living in Israel sent me gifts. I wouldn't be surprised if the Pope sent his blessing my way. Everyone wanted a piece of me and my sheer adorableness. I was the new kid in town and loving every second of it. Sadly, life happens and my golden age fizzled away, almost. Enter my grandparents. 

Growing up, I was fortunate enough to have my mothers parents living a few miles down the road. For a portion of my life I was raised by a single mother. When she decided being a teacher was not financial viable for us to sustain the lifestyle I would soon desire, she went to law school. During her long days and treacherous hours, I spent a good portion of my time with the grandparents, Grammy and Kep (no idea why I called my grandfather this) and my nanny, Lupe. Long story short, my grandparents spoiled me silly. Naturally by the time I was thirteen I had them wrapped around my fingers. It's like I had a magic wand. With a simple swish and flick the world was mine. 

One afternoon, my grandfather and I were dining at one of the "finest" pizza places Albuquerque, New Mexico had to offer. I knew the quickest way to deal with my middle school crisis was coning my grandfather into taking me over to Walmart and buying me a Playstation 2. As I carefully ate my green chile pizza I subtly dropped phrases such as " feel so left out" and "social suicide" throughout our conversation. Next thing I knew, I was in the electronics isle of Walmart, seconds away from being handed a Playstation when my mother called. 

" Hey honey. Lunch was good. I'm just over at Walmart with Rossy getting him some play school game system." 

Hours of ground work, instantaneously crushed. Thanks for spilling the beans grandpa.  Foiled by mother yet again, I went home empty handed with not a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. 

It was not until the end of middle school when my mother randomly came home with a Playstation 2. To this day I'm still not sure what possessed her to do it. Was it my pre-teen angst and adamant desire to be part of social hierarchy? Or her simply needing a babysitter?  Who cares! The Playstation 2 had already been out for years; it was too late for me to become a master gamer. Luckily, America is run by giant corporations who crank out new products every five years knowing dumb people like myself are the first in line to purchase the newest item. A few years later, Microsoft announced the Xbox 360 with Halo 2  as the flagship game and I began to vigorously plan my purchase and domination of the next gen gaming world. 

At 12:01 a.m. on November 22, 2005 the Xbox 360 was launched and I was lying in bed sound asleep. Why? you ask. "Your bedtime is 10:00 p.m.! No exceptions. And you have school the next day". My mothers words when I graveled  for her permission to go to Walmart at midnight. Crushed doesn't even begin to express the state of depression I was in. Normally I'd ask my grandparents to over rule her decisions but I had persuaded them into giving me the five hundred dollars I needed in order to purchase the damn thing. My grandmother also happened to believe school was of the utmost importance. Literally I had no other option but to go to bed wishing a 360 would be waiting for me in the morning. 

Clearly, I was delusional. I should have just left my house in the middle of the night but my balls still hadn't dropped yet and rebellion was not flowing through my veins. I did however stroll into Walmart at 6 a.m. frantically looking for an Xbox 360. The young lad working electronics said, " Dude. You're kidding right? Of course we don't have any in stock. It's been like .....6 hours since they were launched. Plus we only got like 6 consoles. Better luck next shipment. Maybe plan a head."  First off, I was moderately surprised he could tell time. Secondly, leave it to New Mexico to only get 6 consoles. Finally, plan ahead? PLAN AHEAD? I retorted with " Listen douche bag, do I strike you as the type of person who doesn't plan ahead? Yeah I didn't think so. And if you must know, I've been planning for longer than you've been in school. So why don't you do your job and scurry along to find out when the next shipments is." The Walmart employee stared at me blankly. I'm certain I lost him at douche bag.

Both Target and GameStop sold out of consoles by 12:10 a.m. In their defense they had maybe three each. My life seemed over. I couldn't imagine going to school empty handed, but I knew I had too. I had to endure. Of course my  good friend Steve camped out all night and wouldn't shut up about how cool his new Xbox 360 was.  Steve was a "real gamer." He played ALL the time. Video games were his life. Every time we played Halo it was a matter of life and death. If things weren't going as planned, controllers were known to "accidentally" leave his hands and fly through a television. Luckily for me, NO one else acquired a 360. The playing field could not have been more even. The search was on and I was certain to be successful. 

The following weeks I felt like a dog chasing cars. Every minute of every day I was calling Walmart, Target or GameStop trying to figure out when the next shipments of Xbox's would arrive. I never seemed to be able to locate one. Have you ever felt destined to fail? I never had until now.

Thanksgiving had arrived a week later. Bags appeared under my eyes, I had not shaved or showered in days. My obsession over the 360 began to take a tole on my family and I. During dinner, my aunt and uncle expressed concern over my mental well being because every other word out of my mouth was Xbox.  My mother called me crazy, my grandfather told me he liked my drive and my grandmother simply wished I got what I wanted to "end this madness." Talk about mixed signals.  Their opinions of me meant nothing. I knew what I wanted. However, despite my better judgement, the hunt was put on hold due to a minor event in life called finals. 

It's the morning of December 10, 2005. My phone was continuously ringing, disturbing my slumber. I thought to myself-- It's they day after my last final. What could possibly be more important than sleep to any high schooler right now? Begrudgingly I answered my phone, " Jay. What do you want. It's 6:00 a.m.?"

"Target has one Xbox left. They can't hold it. Come now!"

Before he even finished that statement I flew out of bed like a bat out of hell, grabbed my car keys, slipped on my flip flops and sprinted out of the house. A land whale has never moved so fast. 

Thirty seconds into my drive I realize two things: (1) I don't have 500 dollars on me and (2) Im in a t-shirt, boxers and flip flop. The money problem was an easy fix. Obviously I would call my grandmother and tell her it was time to cough up the five hundred dollars she promised in order to achieve full fledged happiness and "end this madness". Lets be honest though, this would only lead to temporary happiness and I don't think I have ever been sane, at least by my grandmother standards. My apparel however would be a greater issue. Any normal person would have taken the two minutes to change their apparel. I ,however, was not willing to let anything stop me from getting my fucking xbox. In case you weren't aware, or haven't seen Breaking Bad, New Mexico has a meth problem.  I carefully concluded the Target employees would simply attribute my attire to my meth addiction.  Really my attire wouldn't be anything out the ordinary. Well thats the story I told my grandmother. 

Thirteen minutes after I received Jay's phone call, I stormed Target. Running down isles for what felt like eternity, I found myself in the electronics section. I can only imagine how ridiculous I looked. Target security guards must have been watching me through security cameras feeling sorry for yet another kid who has been exposed to meth at a such a young age. 

An inch of glass stood between me and my xbox. 

In typical fashion, there was not an employee in sight to unlock the damn case. Fear the current love of my life would be "called" by some other meth addicted teenager, I sat my fat ass down in front of the case, attempting to hide the xbox from the world. I would have sat there yelling for someone all morning if need be. Fortunately my arms were long enough to hit the "Push for Assistance" button. I pushed. Then I pushed again. And again. And then I finger banged the shit out of the button. I picture Target security having another discussion about the meth addicted teenager having a breakdown in the electronics isle.  Eventually, a meth addicted community college student waddled down the isle asking if I needed assistance. Obviously. 

I finally got my xbox. My life as a second class video gamer were slowly coming to end.  I called my grandmother to tell her the good news. Our conversation went like this:

Grammy, " Did you get it honey?"

"Yeah I did"

" Great! Now get out of that store as fast as you can. I was watching the news, people are getting jumped over those game squares!! Good heavens what has this world come to! You should have let your grandfather go with you. Call me the second you get home. Keep your bag close. Make sure no one follows you, lock your doors…"

 

I hung up the phone. Her rant and ludicrous accusations could have gone on for hours and I knew I needed to call Jay and thank him for getting my lazy ass out of bed. As I was walking out of Target I heard a man say "Hey kid, is that the new xbox?" I bolted for my car without ever turning back. Maybe my grandmother was right.

To this day my parents reenact me running into my house like a deranged drunk man yelling, "this is the best day of my life. I'll never forget it!!!" Guess what? I never forgot.